Feeling so unprepared for the March Common Test which begins tomorrow.
But then again, when will I ever be prepared?
Maybe this is a wake up call.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
82/365
Friday, March 22, 2013
80/365
疲倦嗎? 難受嗎? 讓鬥心放下
前行嗎? 徘徊嗎? 又碰到分岔
迷路嗎? 迷亂嗎? 就拋開牽掛
在遍地細沙 靜看著晚霞
倦了便會想回家
到天黑總需要歸家
我只想呼吸一下好嗎
我今天很想可以歸家
最安心窩居於我家
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
78/365
Almost halfway through the march study break but not even half completed with my revision, so I guess all is good. Yeah right.
Taking some time off to update this space in case I lose track of my (non-existent) events again. Have been wasting a lot of time on Candy Crush but I managed to hit level 60 finally (and currently stuck at 61). Also, revision has been going at snail's pace which is making me worry now.
Anyway, last Saturday (night) has been filled with thrill when Janice and I ordered our kankens online (fingers crossed hope everything goes smoothly). Decided on the black and graphite because frost green, black and ox red and graphite were all out of stock (why oh why). At 12 midnight, mom and I surprised the sis with the ugliest bunch of flowers (my mom bought it) and an ever-touching card (written by me) because it was her 20th birthday! The night was also spent on intense planning with Esther to surprise my sis the next day. Went out for lunch as usual and kept in touch with Esther to make sure the plan goes well. I headed home first while my mom and sis went for grocery shopping. Had to constantly whatsapp my mom for updates and my sis grew suspicious of our plans.
Original plan:
Esther coming to the house before my sis returns to decorate a cake and set up a photobooth area
Change of plans:
Esther coming to the house after my sis returns with a decorated cake and will set up the photobooth later
Before Esther arrived, I stalled time by asking my sister to search for her (non-existent) present in her room. All was going well until my sis checked my mom's phone and read through our whatsapp convo and realised Esther was coming JUST as she reached our doorstep. So our plan kind of failed at the last moment all thanks to the birthday woman. She was still surprised nonetheless and so we had fun with the cake and all.
Happy Birthday again you lousy woman!!! (Please read this while you're having your boring lecture)
Taking some time off to update this space in case I lose track of my (non-existent) events again. Have been wasting a lot of time on Candy Crush but I managed to hit level 60 finally (and currently stuck at 61). Also, revision has been going at snail's pace which is making me worry now.
Anyway, last Saturday (night) has been filled with thrill when Janice and I ordered our kankens online (fingers crossed hope everything goes smoothly). Decided on the black and graphite because frost green, black and ox red and graphite were all out of stock (why oh why). At 12 midnight, mom and I surprised the sis with the ugliest bunch of flowers (my mom bought it) and an ever-touching card (written by me) because it was her 20th birthday! The night was also spent on intense planning with Esther to surprise my sis the next day. Went out for lunch as usual and kept in touch with Esther to make sure the plan goes well. I headed home first while my mom and sis went for grocery shopping. Had to constantly whatsapp my mom for updates and my sis grew suspicious of our plans.
Original plan:
Esther coming to the house before my sis returns to decorate a cake and set up a photobooth area
Change of plans:
Esther coming to the house after my sis returns with a decorated cake and will set up the photobooth later
Before Esther arrived, I stalled time by asking my sister to search for her (non-existent) present in her room. All was going well until my sis checked my mom's phone and read through our whatsapp convo and realised Esther was coming JUST as she reached our doorstep. So our plan kind of failed at the last moment all thanks to the birthday woman. She was still surprised nonetheless and so we had fun with the cake and all.
Happy Birthday again you lousy woman!!! (Please read this while you're having your boring lecture)
Decorated cake with cinnamoroll, little twin stars, hk flag, tvb logo, smileys and my sis' face
Saturday, March 16, 2013
75/365
"When I was younger
I used to be wild
As wild as an elephant's child
No one could hold me down
No one could keep me around"
- Holiday by Boys Like Girls
Thursday, March 14, 2013
73/365
I don't say a thing. I won't say anything.
I observe and feel and I keep them to myself.
I'm not worth people's time.
I tried to be nice but to them, it was not enough.
But guess what,
I don't have to live by their moods and standards.
I don't have to live by their moods and standards.
Monday, March 11, 2013
70/365
8.5 more months before I leave this place.
For a moment I really thought I was going crazy. I do feel bad when I complain about this place and even the people because really, not all of them are like that. And also that I feel like I'm indirectly insulting people here because this is where they call home. Sometimes I just feel so suffocated I need to let it out but I know that shouldn't be an excuse to be insensitive towards others, so I'm sorry.
Anyway, yes, 8.5 more months. I don't know if I can pull through this without trying to strangle myself with the tie or drowning myself during shower but I hope this journey will be smooth-sailing and worth it. Just let it be worth my time, that's all I ask for.
Sometimes I get confused as to where I should call 'home'. I came here when I was 4. To be honest, I cannot remember well the things that happened there. I watched tapes of me when I was younger though, I think that reminded me of how my house used to look like and how life there was like. I always say I like it there and also the people there, but sometimes I get so mixed up because do I really know what it is like to be living there? I don't know. Maybe it's only a temporary shelter, a place to protect me from all the problems I face here. Maybe I only want a place where nobody knows my name and I can start anew.
I don't feel like I belong anywhere.
I just want to feel like I belong somewhere.
For a moment I really thought I was going crazy. I do feel bad when I complain about this place and even the people because really, not all of them are like that. And also that I feel like I'm indirectly insulting people here because this is where they call home. Sometimes I just feel so suffocated I need to let it out but I know that shouldn't be an excuse to be insensitive towards others, so I'm sorry.
Anyway, yes, 8.5 more months. I don't know if I can pull through this without trying to strangle myself with the tie or drowning myself during shower but I hope this journey will be smooth-sailing and worth it. Just let it be worth my time, that's all I ask for.
Sometimes I get confused as to where I should call 'home'. I came here when I was 4. To be honest, I cannot remember well the things that happened there. I watched tapes of me when I was younger though, I think that reminded me of how my house used to look like and how life there was like. I always say I like it there and also the people there, but sometimes I get so mixed up because do I really know what it is like to be living there? I don't know. Maybe it's only a temporary shelter, a place to protect me from all the problems I face here. Maybe I only want a place where nobody knows my name and I can start anew.
I don't feel like I belong anywhere.
I just want to feel like I belong somewhere.
Friday, March 08, 2013
67/365
End of week 9.
How time flies is really scaring me. I need more time, really.
The past week has been alright I guess, better at the start of the week though. Here's updates about the past week and it's really nothing interesting so it'll be understandable to close the window now (because if I'm you, I'll probably do that too).
Monday:
Started the I-hate-Monday with econs macro test. Geog lecture was spent speed-reading my notes and minimal chatting.Can't really remember what happen for the lessons afterwards, oh my poor memory. The last lesson of the day, PC, was pushed forward to 12:45pm (which meant my day ended 1 hour earlier yay) and it was some cyber-wellness interactive talk in the PAC. It was funny at some parts (especially those with the volunteers on stage) but other than that, the talk was bleah.
Tuesday:
I only remembered having physics test during H1 and lunched in school afterwards. Headed to gym as usual and completed 4.23km in 30 min.
Wednesday:
GP presentation with Rachel which freaked us out initially. It turned out not too bad and I have to thank her for answering ALL the questions posted by the class and tcb. I'm hopeless at Q&A really. Waited for bowling in school then and Rachel stayed back to study with me in class. Received the bowling tees too, it looks way too good for a bowling tee although the logo kind of sucked (p.s. I 'designed' the logo). I'm glad almost everyone in the cca likes the tee. My coach hates it though. He and his I-know-more-than-you bowling reasoning. Whatever the case, the tee is out so YAY we love it. Spent the night then doing my geog tutorial. Quality was crappy because I really cannot work at night but I handed in for marking anyway.
Thursday:
Longest day ever in my every week.Surprisingly I was quite high although I lacked sleep. Rachel thinks something was wrong because I was never high on Thursdays. I have no idea too but she suggested that maybe I was really sad but I just didn't notice that part yet. Maybe it's true. I think something has been bothering me and I'm feeling upset but I can't put it into words. I don't really know what I'm feeling.
Friday:
Which is today. Tennis was quite fun with the girls, had a fun time hitting balls over the net and earning myself a bottle of h2o from mr yap (will be getting it next term though). Had no idea what went in my mind then because I set off to climb the fences to get this tennis ball (which was stuck there since forever) down. Didn't manage to get it out though because mr yap saw and I had to come down. Studied a bit during free periods and math and econs was just normal with some funny moments with the class. Also got the participation form for the e-generation challenge thing, which makes me feel kind of excited now, I have a feeling my team will win haha!
How time flies is really scaring me. I need more time, really.
The past week has been alright I guess, better at the start of the week though. Here's updates about the past week and it's really nothing interesting so it'll be understandable to close the window now (because if I'm you, I'll probably do that too).
Monday:
Started the I-hate-Monday with econs macro test. Geog lecture was spent speed-reading my notes and minimal chatting.Can't really remember what happen for the lessons afterwards, oh my poor memory. The last lesson of the day, PC, was pushed forward to 12:45pm (which meant my day ended 1 hour earlier yay) and it was some cyber-wellness interactive talk in the PAC. It was funny at some parts (especially those with the volunteers on stage) but other than that, the talk was bleah.
Tuesday:
I only remembered having physics test during H1 and lunched in school afterwards. Headed to gym as usual and completed 4.23km in 30 min.
Wednesday:
GP presentation with Rachel which freaked us out initially. It turned out not too bad and I have to thank her for answering ALL the questions posted by the class and tcb. I'm hopeless at Q&A really. Waited for bowling in school then and Rachel stayed back to study with me in class. Received the bowling tees too, it looks way too good for a bowling tee although the logo kind of sucked (p.s. I 'designed' the logo). I'm glad almost everyone in the cca likes the tee. My coach hates it though. He and his I-know-more-than-you bowling reasoning. Whatever the case, the tee is out so YAY we love it. Spent the night then doing my geog tutorial. Quality was crappy because I really cannot work at night but I handed in for marking anyway.
Thursday:
Longest day ever in my every week.Surprisingly I was quite high although I lacked sleep. Rachel thinks something was wrong because I was never high on Thursdays. I have no idea too but she suggested that maybe I was really sad but I just didn't notice that part yet. Maybe it's true. I think something has been bothering me and I'm feeling upset but I can't put it into words. I don't really know what I'm feeling.
Friday:
Which is today. Tennis was quite fun with the girls, had a fun time hitting balls over the net and earning myself a bottle of h2o from mr yap (will be getting it next term though). Had no idea what went in my mind then because I set off to climb the fences to get this tennis ball (which was stuck there since forever) down. Didn't manage to get it out though because mr yap saw and I had to come down. Studied a bit during free periods and math and econs was just normal with some funny moments with the class. Also got the participation form for the e-generation challenge thing, which makes me feel kind of excited now, I have a feeling my team will win haha!
Thursday, March 07, 2013
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
65/365
"I am afraid. I am not solid, but hollow.
I feel behind my eyes a numb, paralyzed cavern,
a pit of hell,
a mimicking nothingness."
I feel behind my eyes a numb, paralyzed cavern,
a pit of hell,
a mimicking nothingness."
Monday, March 04, 2013
63/365
I guess
I don't bother getting too attached to things in this place because I'll leave some day.
I'll leave and never come back.
People who remember will only figure out my silhouette.
They will not recall my name and voice.
They'll mistake me for an imaginary person.
They may remember vaguely our conversations but not the details.
They will not reminisce about the old times because they would've forgotten.
Perhaps I wouldn't even cross their minds.
Friday, March 01, 2013
60/365
TGIF.
Finally it's the weekends.
The post can just stop here because that's really all I could say right now.
Okay maybe not, I'll do a brief rundown of my week to look more professional. For the past week, I've been living by this word: POSITIVITY. And I'm proud to say that I managed to do so (beyond my expectations really) although it was really mental draining. Especially so when you really want to just crash and give up. But anyways I still survived so all is good.
Monday: Surprisingly good mood at the beginning and econs passed by soon enough. Really love lecture days because all you need to do us to copy notes. The understanding part (and also the toughest) always comes later. Day ended and revised econs at night which killed me the next day.
Tuesday: Lessons felt like forever but still, POSITIVITY all the way. I remembered being really upset though, because I couldn't get my 15 min nap before math but oh well. H1 was tiring because it's just so difficult. And the worst part is thinking that I understood everything until I attempt the tutorial. Lunch at kampong arang with rachel, shi hui and rolling and took the bus home so I had some sleep. Went to the gym then and completed 4.28km in half an hour which is really an improvement considering that I did not run in the previous week.
Wednesday: Lectures were fine and tutorials too (even geog omg). Assembly was hilarious, love the performances by the sc candidates. Laughed throughout so it made my day slightly better. Then it was just lunch, studied and headed for bowling with Janice. Oh and got informed of the extra 3-hour trainings on Saturdays ( omg why). There goes my perfect day of the week.
Thursday: Long day and I really want to fit in thousands of 'o' but that'll be unprofessional so. Lectures were spent discussing and reading notes. Tutorials was alright (even geog omg positivity forever). H1 was slightly enlightening because shi hui and I found out our knowledge compliments each other's. Mass PE was no 4km outdoors but circuits and running indoors because of the ridiculous lightning alerts on a sunny day.
Friday: Today. Not too bad, was nervous for the econs test (which got postponed). PE was funny because we just couldn't hit the ball pass the net (we tried really). Got irritated then because something happened. I was more disappointed I guess, I thought I could trust. But it's okay, I moved on from that bad mood which lasted through half a math lesson. It was the A levels result release in the hall then and all I did was revised econs, took down the names for my sis and remained in shock from the results. Feeling slightly pressurized now I hope I can do well, really. I'll be contented with 5As. Econs test got postponed and stayed back a while to discuss the A level results with the class before leaving. And now I reached my doorstep.
Finally it's the weekends.
The post can just stop here because that's really all I could say right now.
Okay maybe not, I'll do a brief rundown of my week to look more professional. For the past week, I've been living by this word: POSITIVITY. And I'm proud to say that I managed to do so (beyond my expectations really) although it was really mental draining. Especially so when you really want to just crash and give up. But anyways I still survived so all is good.
Monday: Surprisingly good mood at the beginning and econs passed by soon enough. Really love lecture days because all you need to do us to copy notes. The understanding part (and also the toughest) always comes later. Day ended and revised econs at night which killed me the next day.
Tuesday: Lessons felt like forever but still, POSITIVITY all the way. I remembered being really upset though, because I couldn't get my 15 min nap before math but oh well. H1 was tiring because it's just so difficult. And the worst part is thinking that I understood everything until I attempt the tutorial. Lunch at kampong arang with rachel, shi hui and rolling and took the bus home so I had some sleep. Went to the gym then and completed 4.28km in half an hour which is really an improvement considering that I did not run in the previous week.
Wednesday: Lectures were fine and tutorials too (even geog omg). Assembly was hilarious, love the performances by the sc candidates. Laughed throughout so it made my day slightly better. Then it was just lunch, studied and headed for bowling with Janice. Oh and got informed of the extra 3-hour trainings on Saturdays ( omg why). There goes my perfect day of the week.
Thursday: Long day and I really want to fit in thousands of 'o' but that'll be unprofessional so. Lectures were spent discussing and reading notes. Tutorials was alright (even geog omg positivity forever). H1 was slightly enlightening because shi hui and I found out our knowledge compliments each other's. Mass PE was no 4km outdoors but circuits and running indoors because of the ridiculous lightning alerts on a sunny day.
Friday: Today. Not too bad, was nervous for the econs test (which got postponed). PE was funny because we just couldn't hit the ball pass the net (we tried really). Got irritated then because something happened. I was more disappointed I guess, I thought I could trust. But it's okay, I moved on from that bad mood which lasted through half a math lesson. It was the A levels result release in the hall then and all I did was revised econs, took down the names for my sis and remained in shock from the results. Feeling slightly pressurized now I hope I can do well, really. I'll be contented with 5As. Econs test got postponed and stayed back a while to discuss the A level results with the class before leaving. And now I reached my doorstep.
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