It's the end of January. That's the first month of 2013 and now we have entered the second. 10 months later we'll bid this all goodbye.
I don't know what I'm feeling now actually. A mixture of disappointment, sadness, anxiety and stress. Perhaps a combination of all the worst feelings ever. I hate this. Just yesterday I was happy and then I was demoralized (stupid vectors) and now I'm .... confused. I don't know. I was dumb enough to think I'll stand a chance. I thought maybe I'll be lucky enough. But no, reality hits hell hard. It's time to wake up and realize that the dream has to stop. I need to recognize that I'll never be good enough. I'm not good enough. Not at all.
You reap what you sow, they say.
Never give up, they say.
