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Is it just me? That I don't value things that people do, I see worth in different things and most of the time my views are largely different. Or is it just because I've been dulled of senses to even feel anything anymore? Why don't I feel as easily as people do? I want to be a part of them too, I want to take things at face value because most of the time when I look too deeply into things, it hurts. And I brought it upon myself. So I blame myself. It is so tough to act as if I care when deep inside I know I don't. I'm a lousy actor, I show it so obviously I think the blind can see. But then again, it's weird because I hide what I truly feel so well. I hate it that I'm drifting away every second, that I can't stay rooted and belonged. My heart is dying and so is everyone else because nothing seems to matter as much as they used to be and I hate this. I want to bring back the past where I treasure things easily. Is that what they say about people who learn from experienced? Because the experienced know what it feels like. To be forgotten and given up. And it sucked. So they constructed walls around them, so high that nobody can get over it. They have two sides, one for the world and one for themselves. They find it difficult to connect and think the way people do because they know what to expect next. And they made the choice to not feel because the more you feel, the more it kills. They made their walls so strong, they possess the hearts of stone and they can never be rescued anymore.