Right now.
I figured that the longer I stay here, the faster I'll die. It's just 46 more days, they said. Endure and you'll be fine, they said. They said all the things they could say, but what do they know? Have I not tried? Have I not given enough? I don't need easy, I just need possible. But it seems like it's impossible. It's impossible for effort to be equivalent to result. It's not about the process anymore, who cares about that now? Perhaps more about progress, believe me, people love results. Don't trust all the shit they talk about, about how it'll be worth, it'll be hard definitely but I'm not sure if it'll be worth. Don't believe them when they tell you you can do it, because who knows, not everyone can make it till the end. There's only so much I can hold, so much I can bear and I think I'm reaching my threshold soon. I'm going to snap and break and shatter and crash and kill everyone in the process who tells me it'll be possible. Because the fact is, it's freaking impossible.
